thinking about my purchases

so there are a couple of purchases i made recently that have me looking at my spending habits and personality among other things. first off, i bought a pair of checkerboard slip-on vans last week. back in the hardcore ska days i would have killed for these, and now i think i bought them simply out of love for fast times at ridgemont high. i’m looking at my feet now and wondering if i really needed another pair of shoes. the more i think about it though, shoes really can say a lot about a person, esp when they dress relatively non-descript like i tend to do. baseball hat, navy t-shirts and blue jeans are the norm in my wardrobe, which is why my friend’s wife makes jokes about signing me up for what not to wear (i keep a constant lookout for cameras). anyways, i realize that my shoes are really the only outlet of dress that i take advantage of to express myself, so buying a pair of off the wall (get it… vans… off the wall) shoes isn’t necessarily something i should regret. i wore them out tonight when i went to go grab coffee with nurse girl and i got several compliments about them. it was kind of cool because i think people assumed i was confident enough in myself to wear something somewhat out of the norm. i’m not really sure how true that is, i just know they make me laugh because i think of jeff spicoli. i also think of the last purchase i made because of a movie character. a couple of years a go i bought a Detroit Tigers hat, and my friends thought it was because my name starts with a D. in actuality, i thought it looked cool on Doughboy ( ice cube in Boyz in da Hood).

another purchase i made recently was the new bad religion album. not really a typical purchase for a devout christian, but man i love their harmonies. i know they are outspoken atheists and all, and their previous albums (that i justify having in my collection because they were copies given to me) touch on the religious issue, but with intellectual debate. this album was really tough to listen to though, because they are so much more outspoken on this record. i started really reading through the lyrics though, and i noticed several interesting things. first, they really seemed to view christianity as coming back into mainstream culture, and having an impact on the world. i know that may not seem like great news to some, but to me it was encouraging to hear the other side concerned about the upswing of christian culture again. secondly, bad religion is known for their potent social commentary, and the more i read into their lyrics the more i realize that they really do promote ideas that are founded in christian fundamentals. i really find it ironic that they criticize christian culture, then turn around and make suggestions to improve society like respect, kindness, compassion, freedom of choice, and love that come directly from biblical teachings. lastly, i see a common theme in their defense of there not being a God that seems to be pretty typical, and seemingly well thought out. suffering is a problem that many people struggle with, in terms of the existence of a higher being. how could a loving God let people suffer? i wish i knew a sure-fire answer, but my own personal beliefs will have to suffice for now. God does not create suffering. suffering is caused by humans acting out of selfishness. or, for those who seem to ‘not deserve it’, suffering is meant to be a way to lead by example. i look at my dad’s battle against a brain tumor as an example. he has done nothing to deserve to suffer, but do we complain to God? no. because we all have had opportunities to do good because of it, in spite of it, that would have never existed if he lead a ‘normal’ life. my dad has been living on what some consider borrowed time, and because of that he has made sure to never miss an opportunity to love his family and friends. i know my decision to become a youth minister is directly tied to my father’s example. my sister and i have a great relationship with each other, or families and our friends. not the kind of relationships that come about by superficial interests, but deep down, soul based feelings that we have. so when people wonder about suffering, i look at the opportunity for good to happen. to me the fact that a child can smile when a tapeworm is literally eating them alive is proof that there is a God, and he has every intention of giving them eternal bliss.

oh yeah, i bought a pepsi and some rolled tacos today at buenos dias too. gotta love socal.

one love, one heart.


speaking of lists…..

so our country is fascinated by lists. i hope the letterman writer who came up with the idea of the ‘top ten’ list should be given some kind of nobel prize for the chain reaction that has been set off. so i was thinking of fun lists i could make, but for the sake of simplicity, i’m going to start off with just a few basic ones….

my top ten favorite songs

10. down -311

9. ohh ahh – grits

8. rudy can’t fail – clash

7. fall line – jack johnson

6. deville – strung out

5. my name is mud – primus

4. ruby soho – rancid

3. ball and chain – social distortion

2. ring of fire – johnny cash

1. three little birds -bob marley

that was simple enough, how about something more difficult

top ten ideas for movie characters

10. someone trying to get out of their 15 minutes of fame

9. a guy trying to open up an ethnic hair care store in montana

8. a stadium peanut vendor

7. inspector #8 from my last pair of levi’s

6. a doorman

5. a crazy blind guy that travels across country by bus listening to the radio wherever he goes and eating bbq

4. proffesional hackey sacker

3. a guy that looks like cedric the entertainer, and has to keep trying to convince people that he’s not famous

2. the backup singer/ rythym guitarist for a cover band that plays at the mall on fridays

1. a hot-dog-on-a-stick employee

hmmm…. those were kind of fun, and def more challenging that i though they would be. more to come later i’m sure. one love, one heart.

and now for something different…

so way back in the day my friend ‘mikey’ and i had a music magazine called move your car. it was a blast reviewing cds and making our own zine, and it had great benefits like meeting bands, free cds and free concert tix. anyways, i haven’t been able to find any copies of my first published works, which has always been kind of sad. so the last time i was home i was really stoked when i found a copy of one of the articles that we had the most fun writing. we spent all day at a newstand ‘reviewing our competition’, which is funny in itself since our circulation never topped 5,000 and these guys were actually on the rack. so here it is, from the rough copy i found in my garage… an official exerpt from move your car #7

myc Reviews the Competition

We were wandering through the magazine racks downtown recently and we noticed some pretty stiff competition in the magazine business. So we’re going to make fun of the rest. Here are some awards we made up, and some random observations we made about a few others. Have fun and see what else you could be reading right now.

Barbie Bazaar

the most bizarre magazine we found


ironically this magazine was only available indoors, printed on paper

Morbid Curiosity

we were wondering…

Your Flesh

hmmm what to do, what to do…

Fireman’s World

for the latest and greatest in the hoses and hydrants


we dropped this one so we had to buy it

Gardens Illustrated

the swimsuit edition comes out in march

The Baffler

we couldn’t quite figure this one out

Family Photo

because staring at your own family pictures isn’t boring enough

Unix Review

pronunciation is the key to this one

Satellite Times

for the stay at home astronaut

American Cheerleader

we were like, gonna buy this one, but we weren’t like fer sure…

Chess Life

in case you missed the coverage of big blue on espn


we weren’t quite sure about this one

best magazine dedicated to a letter:

3. Q

2. a/W (tie)

1. S

most useless magazine

3. Tiki News

2. Make Up artist

1. American Tugboat

best cover model

3. Backwoods Home Magazine

2. Inter Mountain Women

1. Girls of Outlaw Biker Magazine

one word says it all:

3. Blue

2. Might

1. Joop

best magazine dedicated to log cabins:

3. Log Home Living

2. Log Home Design

1. Log Home Illustrated

best overall:

3. Horn World

2. Knit Hooking

1. American Taxidermist

other zines we just couldn’t think of anything to say about, but felt they were worth mentioning:

Inner Ear

Red Herring

Wild Duck Review


Australian Tattoo

Rock & Ice

Various Gun and Weapon magazines (we’re a little too scared to make fun of any by name)


well, i hope you get some laughs from this like we did. one love, one heart.

you ever wish you could go back in time…

so my sister is starting at acu this week, and for the first time ever (including the fact that she never had to pay her own car insurance) i think i am jealous of her. how much fun would it be to start college over again. i know most people study and all that, but i really had nothing but fun for the most part. the one condition of me going back would be that chrs billings was still there, which really isn’t too much of a stretch. chrs billings was by far the most influential person i met at oc. i know he’s goofy and not everyone is going to agree with me, but he really had a gift of making people step out of ther comfort zones. no matter what you did, you were never as goofy as chrs. so as he got farther and farther out there, the rest of us did by association, but we never had to worry about getting the negative attention, because we were never as out there as chrs. i remember spending so much time worrying about what people thought me, and beign around chrs and his attitude really helped me get rid of any sense of shame or embarassment. i remember feeling so free the first time t realized i truly didn’t care if i fit in or not, but that i was having fun. when chrs graduated (which is proof that anyone can) i remember how we all told stories about him for the next few years and thought that was a great legacy. my sister made me think of this when she was talking about this group of guys she met yesterday, and she said she couldn’t wait to see them ‘open up and not worry about trying to be cool’. wow, my sister is light years ahead of me my freshmen year. she’s a female chrs billings, which would make her like sommer, which is odd because they talk alike….. hmmmm…..

speaking of opening up, i recently read the book, dare to be honest. what a mindbender. it talks about how our culture justifies lying and deciet and rationalization. i realized how much i still do this to myself. i blow things out of proportion in my mind, then when they don’t happen as planned, i get very down on myself. it got me to thinking about how closed we are as a society. the catalyst for this was last night when i was talking to topgun girl (see previous post). we ended up talking for a couple of hours and she was opening up to me right off the bat in a way that was great, but i really wasn’t expecting. i eventually asked why she felt okay to share these things with me, and she said we had already laid the groundwork for being open on our date on sunday. i don’t say that to brag, but it really makes me wonder how closed we as a society have made ourselves, that honesty could be that inviting. also, we talked about different stages in relationships, and we decided that there should be another official term of ‘would like to see them again’. for the record, i would like to see topgun girl again.

something else happened today that really bothered me. i was grabbing some buenos dias grub, and there was this old black guy there that looked like he had been burned almost to disfigurement. he was missing one eye and the other was mostly white. he asked me for a couple of bucks for dinner and i gave him two (of the 27 in my pocket) w/o saying a word. he thanked me and i walked back across the parking lot to the church knowing full well i could have done more to help that poor guy. fortunately God gave me a second chance to redeem myself when he came to the church office and asked for a ride to the bus station for an interview. got me thinking though, i wonder how many opportunities i pass by. why? i’m still kind of disapointed in myself for not taking advantage of the opportunity the first time, but am very grateful for the second chance.

and finally, for one of those disturbing stories that only happens to me… on my flight out to juaner’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, our plane was stuck at the terminal for an hour due to inclimate weather. so the wannabe cowboy in the nascar hat, and the kentucky clubtrash in the low cut that were sitting beside me (seriously, when are airlines going to get rid of the center seat) decide to have a drinking contest. so i thorw on the headphones and try to ignore the fact that i have stupid in stereo. so we finally get off the ground and the flight drags on… these two get dumber and dumber… and i eventually feel the need to get up and stretch and get a change of scenery so i go to the bathroom to throw some water on my face, freshen up etc. so when i go back down the aisle, i see that the toothless wonder i sitting in my seat. not bad actually, let the two idiots entertain themselves. so i throw the eargoggles on and spend more energy focusing on primus lyrics than i ever have before and try and get some sleep. after a few minutes of sleep i realize that the two next to me aren’t talking anymore, so i make the huge mistake of opening my eyes. she’s leaning over him ‘looking out the window’, with one hand on the armrest and the other in his lap. ugh. how wrong is that. so the flight ends and so does my misery. then, in the terminal the lady that was sitting across the aisle from me comes over and asks me how i managed to keep a somewhat straight face. i really didn’t have a response. then she tells me she ran into the cowboy who was talking on his cell to his friends saying, ‘yeah… this hot blonde just came over and started hanging all over me…’. yeah. pretty lame.

well, i’ve got padres tix and the jones for some rolled tacos. one love, one heart.

only a surreal day could get me to start this…

so here i go, i feel like i’m merging onto the 805 by joining the millions with their own blogs, but i def rationalize this by assuming that this will be better than any other attempts at journaling. so i still do not have a job, insurance or even an idea of where i’m going to be living next month. freedom is not as fun as i expected. here i am weeks away from not having any responsibility, and then it hits me that bills and such are going to catch up to me pretty soon. i wonder how they will find me if i dont have an address?

i’m not really in a bad mood, which is when i normally write, but i’m just having one of those surrreal days. i was driving to the bank today and i made the mistake of wondering about where all these people on the freeway are going. for my friends back in the midwest, dallas traffic at rush hour is pretty standard out here, except we move at 70 mph. back to the point, looking at all these people and wondering really gets me in a spin. not really sure why, it just does. this is why i keep my blinds closed at the church office where i’m interning. staring out at all of the people that drive by puts into perspective how many people i have to minister to. that’s always a humbling thought that will put you in your place.

today was surreal for another reason. i had a date last night that went really well, and i’m doing the typical ‘when should i call’ thing today. def dont want to do anything to jeopardize a second date, but there is that akward feeling today. oh well, i’m prob worrying about nothing. i’ve noticed something though… the stress over asking a girl out is in direct proportion to how good looking she is. i recognize that could be construed as pretty harsh, but the reality is the more attractive a female is, the harder it is (normally) to just walk up and talk to her. i’m sure someone out there can back this up, if not, more power to you. either way, she’s really attractive and she laughs at my jokes, which i s always a good start. also, the first time i met her was probably the smoothest thing i’ve ever done. that was six years ago and she still remembers so i guess it couldn’t have been all bad (think topgun bar scene).

well, it’s that time of day where i go eat some of san diego’s finest mexican food. one of the joy’s of my internship is working at a church that shares a parking lot with buenos dias california. not only does it have the greatest name of any taco stand, but the best rolled tacos in s.d.

one love, one heart.