“If a small taco is a taquito, then a small judge… must be a Judge Ito!”
I got to perform a marriage ceremony a few weeks ago. What a trip! I’ve known Andy forever, and Serena has been in the mix since I moved back to SD. I love both of them dearly and was so humbled they asked me to be a part of their wedding. It was was quick ceremony overlooking a golf course in the middle of San Diego, a perfect setting for the night. Along with looking awesome in my new suit, there were some pretty fun highlights:
Andy never officially asked Serena’s mom for her permission to marry Serena, so before we got into the ceremony we gave him a chance to take care of that detail. Of course she said yes and we got to move on.
During the vows, Serena had to physically turn Andy’s head towards him because he was looking right at me while reciting his vows. Fortunately, everyone got a kick out of that.
Lastly, during the rehearsal I made some crack about the flower girls needing to pick up the flowers on the way out so that we can clean up quickly. I didn’t realize they would take me seriously and hold up the procession at the end of the actual wedding ceremony. I had a head mic on and couldn’t really say anything to the girls as they held up the line putting flowers back in their basket. My favorite part though was Andy’s mom pointing at me saying, “this is your fault.”
Speaking of the wedding, I had to buy a new suit for the event, which turned into a much bigger ordeal than I had planned. It also reminded me of why I hate shopping. Here’s the rundown of the places I went and poor customer service I got before I ended up at Men’s Fashion Depot.
- JC Penney’s – The older lady in the suits area (first problem right there) asked if I needed anything, I told her I was looking for a new suit. As she walked away she pointed toward the wall and said they’re over there, then disappeared. Grade D-
- Express For Men – I asked where the suits were, and was escorted by a nice young lady who explained that they didn’t have a huge selection of suits, but offered to help if I needed anything. She was right, there were less than a dozen suits total, the closest to my size 46R was a 38L. Congrats hipsters, you have great suit options. Grade C+
- Nordstrom’s – I stood in the suit department for about 10 minutes looking through suits before I noticed that no one had offered to help me. Then I looked around and realized that no one was there to help me. I walked over to the watch counter on the other side of the store and asked the young lady if there was anyone working that department. She said it wasn’t her area and she didn’t know. Grade D
- Macy’s – I walked in to the suit department and got the head nod from the guy behind the counter who was ringing up another customer. Good start. After a few minutes of looking around I saw the cashier wrapping up. Then another guy walked in and the cashier headed right over to him, and then escorted him to find a dress shirt. Grade: F
- Men’s Wearhouse – I walked in and was immediately greeted, and shown to the suits in my size. The employee was a huge help with finding a good fit, that is, when he wasn’t switching back and forth with two other customers. He kept pushing their 2 for 1 deal on me, with me explaining that I would barely ever wear one suit, much less two. We finally settled on a suit that was a little out of my price range, but very nice. He then suggested I go ahead and find another suit, since it would be the ‘same price’. Then, after getting measured by the tailor he handed me the bill which had the cost of all the alterations, but it was doubled because of the two suits. A $400 budget quickly became $775 which resulted in a $0 sale when I realized I had been the victim of the classic upsale. Grade D+
- Men’s Fashion Depot – I was greeted right away, and immediately taken to the entire row of suits in my size. We tried on a few, and several employees stopped by to give their opinions. The tailoring was quick and easy, and I walked out in a total of 45 minutes with a suit, dress shirt, a couple of ties and a couple of pocket silks for around $250. If it weren’t for the tailor stabbing me in the leg a couple of times they’d have a perfect score. Grade: A
Oh yeah, the same day I dropped by the apple store for a minute to have them take a look at my headphone jack. They fixed that but noticed that the menu button was really slow in the process. Within twenty minutes of entering the store I had a brand new phone for no charge.
I got to see the Beach Boys on their 50th anniversary tour last month for a late birthday present. I have to say that was one of the best live performances I’ve seen in a while (Thrice’s farewell stop in SD still takes the cake). They may be old but they can still sing. And they played over 40 songs from all over their catalog. Obvious classics, rarities, and only a few new ones just to show they still had it. Nobody puts together a tune like the Beach Boys.
The other day I was at my new mexican dive restaurant and the girl behind the counter asked me, “Would you like Mexican or American guacamole?”
“What’s American guacamole?”
“It’s avocado with sour cream mixed in.”
“No. No I don’t want that. That’s not guacamole.”
Last weekend a friend of mine from high school was in town and we got to catch up for a bit. I don’t really keep in touch with too many folks from high school outside of the occasional Facebook ‘like’, so it was a blast to see what does/doesn’t change over 14 years. Needless to say it was non-stop laughs, jaw dropping ‘did you hear about…’ moments and a few days going back and thinking maybe high school wasn’t as bad as it seemed at the time. At the very least I realized I owe most of the class of ’98 at Eastlake High an apology. I blamed you guys for a lot of the bad times I had and I’ve come to realize over the past few years that I really didn’t make myself open to making a lot of friends. I wish you all the best. Stay cool and have a nice summer.
I’ve always loved baseball, but this is my first season with MLB network. Nerd status: Kurkijan Anyways, here are a few thoughts on the season so far:
- Bryce Harper is the real deal, but Mike Trout is by far the best rookie baseball has seen in a long time. Since Griffey maybe?
- Bryce Harper’s response to a reporter’s question about taking advantage of Canada’s drinking age (Harper is Mormon) while in Toronto “That’s a clown question bro.” May be my favorite non-Yogi Berra quote from baseball.
- I’m all about Derek Jeter putting up insane numbers after so many people expected him to slow down this season. The guy once again renewed his legendary status this season.
- Prediction: Albert Puhols is going to end up with the same or better numbers as he always does, they’re just going to come at the end of the season when the Angels make a run on the Rangers for the AL West.
- The Padres will win 59 games this year. If the O’Malleys do in fact end up becoming the new owners they’ll win 98 in 2014.
- Jim Leyland post game interviews are hilarious.
- Joe Maddon in general is hilarious.
- The only thing uglier than the new Marlins logo:
- is the monstrosity they built in center field at their new stadium:
- I really hope the success of the Orioles, Nationals, and Pirates continue. Those cities are long overdue for some good baseball.
- Has anyone ever epitomized ‘ball gamer’ like Jim Thome?
- LeBron haters need to step off. He made on bad ‘decision’. It’s all been uphill since last season.
- That being said, I was hoping the Thunder would pull of the championship. LeBron may be the best in the game right now, but Durant is my favorite to watch.
- Thunder v Heat is the new Lakers v Celtics?
I’m trying to catch up on my pre-Olympic story lines. Any athletes or events I need to watch?
One love, One heart.