By this time tomorrow I should be somewhere in the middle of the mountains in Utah, hurrying to set up camp before the snow falls. To say that I am excited to get away from civilization for a few days is an understatement. I’m sure there’ll be a post about the joy found in nature to come in a few weeks when I get back, but this post is about another important part of taking a trip for me, writing out my will.
I try and write out a will before every big trip. It may sound morbid, but on the longshot that something might happen to me, I want to make sure that my things (what little I have) are in order, and what needs to be said is said.
Which is why today was interesting. I wrote out my will as usual, then reread it checking for grammatical errors. As I was going through my will I made a couple of observations that made me pause.
First of all, there was very little focus on my possessions, which is a definite change of pace from my previous wills. I liked seeing that. It’s not that I’m a very successful minimalist, it’s that there were only a few things that I had an emotional attachment to. For the most part, any attachment was for things reminding me of my Dad, and I don’t mind putting importance on those items. I sensed a peace coming over me realizing that there are very few possessions in this world that I would miss.
Secondly, and much more overwhelming, was the goodbye’s that I wrote down. Most of them were reminders to those I am closest to that I love them and consider myself very blessed. There were a few thank-you’s in there as well, mostly to those that I work with and serve with here at North County. And finally, there were a couple of charges of encouragement to my youth ministry to keep on the right path.
As I read over this list of goodbyes, I realized that every person on this list had already heard these things from me on numerous occasions. This realization brought an overwhelming peace. I’ve said what needs to be said.
And so I head off into the woods, seeking rest and peace and fish, with a head start on the first two. I don’t know if I can truly express the joy and peace that comes from knowing that my relationships are in order. Maybe that’s what is meant by a ‘peace that passes understanding.’
So the next few days, I will rest in peace and hopefully, come back even more equipped to live in this joy. And someday, when the time comes, to truly rest in peace for eternity.
One love, one heart.