ALF: "I mean, this is about as interesting as– as listening to a John Tesh album."

hola hola hola. i wrote this last night but our neighbors are irresponsible and didn’t have their wireless network on.

so i stayed home sick today, and in between taking robitussin naps and multiple hot showers i managed to squeeze in some tv time. there is nothing worth watching on in the afternoons. i say this after deciding to watch things that i know i don’t like to watch. i’m not sure why this was appealing, but i would venture to say there is such a thing as too much ‘tussin.

i watched this ‘classic’ movie with kathryn hepburn in it first. at least i started watching it. i had to turn it off because i couldn’t keep up with how fast she was talking. yesterday i had a better chance of deciphering the lyrics to snow’s informer than i did of making it through a conversation in the philadelphia story. it reminded me of when mi hermana was in sixth grade and all of her friends would be over at the house and would inevitably end up talking at the same time. you want to try and listen, but the second you miss a sentence you’re done for.

later i watched one of those court tv shows, where somebody was suing their ex girlfriend for damages to a black velvet painting. while i do not condone violence, lawsuits, or destruction of other people’s property, i had to laugh when the guy started crying about how much the painting meant to him. the best part was not that the girlfriend owned up to destroying the painting (citing that it wasn’t actually art), but that she refused to pay $500 for a painting that she claimed he bought for $5 at a garage sale. i wonder if the judge had this in mind while studying those long hours in law school?

next, i ended up watching one of those list shows on E!. i think it’s the first time i’ve ever not channel surfed over something with the word ‘starlicious’ in the title. here’s how you make a list show:
step 1: find something that a few people have done (in this case make-overs)
step 2: figure out how many people have done it so you know how long to make your list (25)
step 3: find two pictures and use every transition know to man to show the same picture over and over. (i personally like the zoom in and move across the picture method best)
step 4: repeat step 3 (as many time as possible)
step 5: get comedians you’ve never heard of, and that one guy/girl who used to be on that one show to talk about the subject.
step 6: add cool graphics and you’re good to go.

i dozed off for a little while, and when i woke up the tv was on the korean home shopping channel. it was then i discovered that i had been laying on the remote.

so i turned to espn and watched the clemens hearing for a little while. i’m still going with innocent until proven guilty, but i really wish he would have cleared more stuff up today. (he may have, i’m going to read about it tomorrow with much less medication in me.)

i surfed channels for a while. i did a little rorshach-style-first-thing-that-comes-to-your-mind treatment for this.
80’s music video channel: bring back jerry-curls!
food network: dang giada.
afternoon news: what did this person do to deserve the on location story at petco?
cspan: sweet, our government at workZZZZZzzzzzzz……..
history channel: how many ‘experts’ are there on medieval shoes?
craziest videos shows: is every car wreck captured on video?
shopping network: sweet, topaz belt buckles!
oprah: today we’re talking about depression. and as a special treat everyone in our studio audience gets a free RADIO SHOWERHEAD!
madtv: diet saturday night live
project runway: i should never tell anyone i watch this.

after another round of ‘tussin, sleep, and hot showers. i went to the office to check my mail and get some fresh air. after a quick dinner i cleaned up some and read for the rest of the night.

i know there’s nothing really noteworthy here, but i figure since i’ve never really read any other blogs about the crap on daytime tv i’d go ahead and put my two cents in. also, let this be a warning to you. never get sick. and never take a day off from work and stay at home and watch tv. if you do, make sure you have dvds, or things on dvr that you haven’t seen yet.

one love, one heart.