I found your pudding cups at a gas station in Carbondale.

hola blogreaders.

it’s been a while since i’ve really had an afternoon to write out my thoughts, but since i’ve essentially declared this a sick day and i’m still at the office i figured i might as well.

i really should start off with a big thank you for all the phone calls, letters, emails and such that i’ve received over the past six weeks or so. it means a lot to hear from everyone, even if there’s nothing really deep to say. and to answer everyone’s question, i’m doing really good. not having to worry about dad anymore is a huge blessing, and it has brought nothing but peace and a sense of gratitude to our family. that, and i feel like i’ve really been able to focus on things in front of me a lot easier. it kinda feels like recovering from a.d.d. anyways, there’s a bunch of stuff on my mind so on with the… what was i saying?

TV.
i put that in caps because the cuz got a us a nice big lcd tv for our small apt. i can’t wait for the hdtv guys to hook up our dvr so i can watch stuff other than dvds and mr.t.

strange things are afoot at the circle k.
so i met this girl at the circle k gas station a few weeks ago (enter song title ‘lookin for love in all the wrong places’). we were both filling up at the same time and she caught me staring at her car and we started talking. 30 seconds turned to two minutes, two minutes turned to fifteen… needless to say it was pretty unexpected. anyways, we had a good laugh because every night that she was available to go do something i had work and vice versa. so we talked a couple of times last week because she was out of town for some trade show associated with her work, not a bad couple of conversations. then i get a phone call from her late friday night. now this wasn’t just any phone call, it was a drunk phone call from vegas. (enter the sound of a plane going down in flames and bombs dropping). ugh. first, don’t get drunk. second, you should probably avoid vegas for business events. and c, don’t call youth ministers you just met when you’re plowed. just thought i should clearly state that last part since it evidently is not common knowledge.

identity theft.
so last year i had a run in with identity theft when someone tried to hack into my bank account online and locked up my account for a few weeks. so you can imagine how thrilled i was when i caught a guy in the dumpster at our apt complex going through our paper garbage. we had a few words and i told him i was calling the cops, and he gave me some garbage about just looking for cans. i reminded him that i saw him with a handful of bills, which have zero recycling value. so as i go back to my apt to get my phone, i remembered something i had back in my room that might make the situation more memorable, so i proceeded to fill up a bucket of water balloons. i walked out on my patio and started launching them at the guy who was still in the dumpster. needless to say, he was kind of surprised (actually, i was surprised too, i have never been that accurate with water balloons) when he got hit the first few times. i told him i was going to call the cops after i ran through my bag of balloons which was enough to get him to leave. i threw one down the street for good measure as he was walking away just to make sure he knew i was watching him leave. i figured if any police became involved they would never believe someone would throw water balloons at a guy in a dumpster, and even if they did, it’s not like i was violently hurting him. anyways, he was trespassing on private property. anyways, i’ve started keeping a stock of water balloons on our patio now and i encourage you to do the same.

dialing.
speaking of phone calls, i have a new pet peeve. when someone says they are going to call you back and they don’t… no bueno. here’s the problem, let’s say for example you call someone on a friday afternoon, you talk for a few minutes, then they say they’ll give you a call tonight and want to go hang out and grab a bite to eat. 7pm rolls around with no phone call so you call them to see if they still want to hang out. they say yes, but are running errands and say they’ll call you back in a few minutes because they don’t have reception at the store. a few minutes go by with no phone call. a few minutes turn into a while, and after that you realize no call is coming so you ditch those plans altogether and call up someone else. then, the next time you see the first person, they comment on how you never have time to hang out anymore. seriously, pick up the phone and dial. flaking out once or twice on the ‘callyourightback’ happens to everyone, but when it becomes the standard by which you are known, its time for an intervention.

punk’d.
it’s embarrassing to use that term, but this story is pretty embarrassing to tell, so it fits. i mentioned before that every tuesday i go to costco (sam’s club for you midwesterners) with the sr. saints for $1.50 hot dog and a coke lunch. one of the families there always brings their granddaughter who is five, and one of the funniest kids i’ve ever met. so yesterday i get up to get refills for me and a few others and i come back and my lunch is gone. i look down at my empty spot and mutter, “where are my hot dogs?” which means i have officially been taken. i look down the rows of sr. saints who are all laughing and i see a five year old trying to hide behind her granddad. i walk down and get my hot dogs back from the five year old who waited till i got up, and with no urging from anyone else went and hid my food. i’ve been taken by a lot of people, but never a five year old. i don’t know wether to be impressed or embarrassed. all i know is this: 1. i have years of being pranked to look forward to. and 2. i can’t really get into a prank war with a five year old girl because i lose either way. dang.

bowling.
i finally found it. an activity that our kids love to do outside of church grounds. bowling. who would have guessed. this leads to a question though, does bowling count as a sport?

sick.
this is me right now. there are two battles going on in my body right now. one battle is my body vs. holding down food. the other is my wanting to feel better vs. my willingness to figure out my insurance policy so that i can figure out which doctor to go to.

parent meetings.
the secret to parent meetings is to drop a line about matthew 8 in there at the beginning and have a public sign up sheet if anyone wants to have a private discussion. the other key is to keep talking, and ask as few questions as possible. i figured this out on sunday after being worked up enough to drink a whole bottle of pepto. maybe that’s why i don’t feel good. whatever, i’ll take it if it means a mellow parent meeting.

a front coming in.
you know how you can tell the weather is going to change by that feeling you get. that’s how it feels right now when it comes to my ministry. things are changing, i can feel lit. this is a good thing.

the red letters.
that’s the name of our series for our ROOTS class this year. we’re going through reading all of Jesus’ words in chronological order. i suggest you give it a try sometimes. there’s so many short passages that we don’t spend a lot of time reading because they don’t make ‘full lessons’. it’s been really interesting so far. more updates to come.

well, it’s been good to clear the cobwebs off of this blog. for all the facebookers out there if you’re really bored and feel like catching up on two and half years worth of my ramblings you can go to http://chapmionshipvinyl.blogspot.com/ . and for all the people who have read this blog from the beginning, muchos gracias for all the comments and such.

and now i leave with some observations i’ve made about people in general lately convieniently put together in a…

TOP TEN RECENT OBSERVATIONS ON PEOPLE IN GENERAL

10. no one likes it when you point out that we shouldn’t complain about gas prices when we pay over $12 a gallon for bottled water and $15 for coffee.
9. if you tell someone something stinks they will sniff. no questions asked, they have to know for themselves.
8. if there are more than four females in a picture, at least of two of them are leaning in.
7. if there are three or fewer females in a picture, one of them is holding the camera out and you can kind of see her arm in the picture.
6. when pumping gas, a majority of people try and get the total sale to end right on a dollar, even when paying with a card.
5. if you just let the pump click when done and put the nozzle away, people look at you funny.
4. i bought 200 cups of pudding the other day and not a single person said a word to me or asked why i had a shopping cart full of pudding, not even the cashier.
3. if you fart in public, the people around you will be too embarrassed to actually say anything. you should be the one that is embarrassed.
2. not a single reader will try that theory out, but most of you are going to notice that sniffing rule and the female picture rule.
1. if you drive a new car, you refer to it by the model and if you drive and older car you also mention the year. for example, if you ask the cuz, he drives a tundra. if you ask me, i drive a 98 tahoe.

hope you have fun with those observations. one love, one heart.

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Author: djiverson

I am a Christian, son, brother, artist and friend. I am blessed to be the Youth & Family Minister at New Vintage Church in San Diego. Know You Are Loved.

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