i haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.

ahh the stuff on my brain…
you ever have those weeks that seem like they take forever, and then the next thing you know it’s over and it went by really fast? me neither.

so last week was vbs, which is always a good outreach, but it was kinda hard for me to get into it. actually, it’s been hard for me to get into anything lately. i don’t know who all read this, but i’m going to assume someone out there is like me when it comes to getting stuff done. if i don’t get a start early in the day, or if there’s a pole of stuff to do, i just put it off until the mood and the time hits me right to take care of everything at once. that’s kind of where i feel like i am today. i started writing out a list of stuff i need to do and/or get started on and it’s a bit overwhelming. to be honest, i think i’m just going to go home and clean up the apt before the kiddos come over tonite. maybe tomorrow with lawdog out of the office yet again i’ll feel the motivation to do more, but today is really not the productive day that i needed. not that i’m not getting stuff done, i just feel like every time i shovel something off of my desk two more things arrive.

you know you’re having a weird day when you look at the cds you’ve listened to and they have nothing in common. i started off the day listening to underoath, then went for some dropkick murphys, now i’m rocking the donovan frankenreiter and jack johnson. by the end of the day i’ll prob be breaking out primus. i think it’s just one of those days.

had an elders meeting last night where we talked about me going before the congregation last sunday. as usual there really weren’t too many answers to questions except that i need to have a parents meeting evidently. i think that’s number three on the aforementioned list. i have no clue what’ we’re going to discuss though, so until that gets figured out, no parent meeting.

what else, i’ve had some pretty good conversations with nursegirl, supermodel, and several other chicas down in san diego that have me wishing i would take a day off to go down to s.d. to visit the amigos. that and i could go for some really good rolled tacos.

me and on of the kiddos started up a myspace account for santa. nothing exciting, i just thought it was funny to see that santa has all of 12 friends. check out http://www.myspace.com/santaandfriends to sign up for the nice list.

i just read where one of my favorite comedians, mitch hedburg, died recently. seriously, when are people going to figure out that drugs are taking away some of the greatest entertainers we have. the part of me that loves his jokes is being overshadowed by the part of me that is pretty mad at him for destroying himself.

you know it’s going to be a weird day when you wake up on the floor, and the tv is on telemundo.

well, i think i’m going to head out and be productive for a while, maybe even tackle this list. something about writing this out has given me some motivation.

i know this post seems kinda like a downer, but i’m not really in a bad mood. just to prove it here are some jokes that have me cracking up:

‘My apartment is infested with koala bears. it’s the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When i turn the light on a bunch of koala bears scatter. And i don’t want em to. i’m like, Hey! Hold on fellas. let me hold on of you. and feed you a leaf.’

‘i like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want to eat 2,000 of something.’

‘last week i helped my friend stay put. it’s a lot easier than helping someone move. i just went over to his house and made sure he did not start to load stuff into a truck.’

‘i used to like pepsi. I still do, but i used to, too.’

‘I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.’

‘I played golf, I’m not good at golf, I never got good at it. I never got a hole in one, but I did hit a guy once. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “fore.” But I was too busy mumbling, “there ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.” …. I hit a guy in one. What’s par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are an a jerk.’

‘Tortillas are sleeping bags for ground beef.’

‘I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.’

‘They say that the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make it at home. There’s more to it than that.’

‘I order a club sandwich all the time. And I’m not even a member, I don’t know how I get away with it. “I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread.” “So do I.” “Lets form a club then.” “Okay, but we’re gonna need more stipulations.” “Yes we do.” “OK… Instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again.” “Yeah, four triangles.” “And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad.” “Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?” “I’m for ’em!” “Well, this club is formed. Spread the news on menus nationwide.”

‘Once I saw this wino who was eating grapes, and I said, “Dude, you have to wait”.

‘I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.’

‘Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. “Tom’s gone!” “Is he a magician?” “No.” “Then let’s print up some flyers!”

‘I would imagine that if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.’

‘I was walking by a drycleaner at 3 a.m. and there was a sign that said “Sorry, we’re closed”. You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3 a.m. and you’re a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna come by at 10 and say, “Hey, I was here at 3 a.m. and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.”

‘I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry ’cause I like loud music… so when he knocked on the wall, I’d mess with his head. I’d say “Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a door on your side but over here there’s nothin’. It’s just flat.”

‘I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve travelled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so that the map will not fall down.’

‘I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Can I prop my feet up here? I need to go to the bathroom. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? You need to take a right. Man, you really like Tide …”

‘I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.’

‘As an adult, I’m not supposed to go down slides. So, if I’m at the top of a slide, I have to pretend like I got there accidentally. “How’d I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. WEEEEE!!!!” That’s what you say when you’re having fun — you refer to yourself and some other people.’

‘My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one’s the real hero?’

‘One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is of when you were younger.’

‘I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, “You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.” As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.’

one love, one heart.

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Author: djiverson

I am a Christian, son, brother, artist and friend. I am blessed to be the Youth & Family Minister at New Vintage Church in San Diego. Know You Are Loved.

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